Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Stars and Dots

We've been struggling over here lately with self-worth.   Yesterday, as I sat down for story time with Jonas and Mason, I noticed that Mason had picked out the book, You are Special. As we read, I knew this was what I needed to use for my FHE lesson. Later that afternoon I cut out a bunch of gray dots and gold stars to use for an object lesson.
Shortly before dinner, I handed out a bag of dots and stars to everyone.  I asked them to give out dots when we didn't like what someone did or said and to hand out gold stars when they did something we liked.  A few minutes into this, and I began to wonder if it had been such a good idea as we started sounding off our frustrations with each other.

When we finally sat down to do our FHE Lesson, we talked about how much we are loved by our Heavenly Father and how he knows each of us individually.  Then we read the book.  If you've never read it, I would highly recommend it. We discussed how, just like the little wooden people, everyday we get dots or starts put on us by other people.  Then I pointed out how we wanted to be like Lucia, who had no dots or stars because they wouldn't stick to her.  She had decided that what Eli (the woodcarver) thought of her was more important that what others thought. Then we all took off our dots and stars and talked about how we needed to focus more on what Heavenly Father thinks than what others do.
(Sorry about the dark, grainy photos...I only had time to snap a few pictures on my phone)

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Sunshine

Today was that little bit of sunshine I needed to lift my spirits. A small reprieve from some of the stresses and anxieties that have plagued us lately. New babies always bring such love into our home, but it never fails that some of our hardest trials always come shortly after their arrival.

As I sat in church today, and looked at all of my handsome men spread out on the pew, I couldn't help but feel gratitude for this wonderful little family I've been blessed with.  The gratitude that filled me was like a ray of sunshine penetrating the gloom that's seemed to surround me the past few weeks.

My gratitude grew as I thought of how in spite of everything, I have been given so very, very much.  Perhaps more than I deserve. The blessings of the gospel; my sweet family; thoughtful friends, family, and neighbors; Jeff's job and all the benefits it provides for us; my wonderful little house and nice neighborhood...


This is year I've chosen to focus on the word Refine. Today was a great reminder that as I focus on refining my imperfections (and so very many of them I have!), I also need to remember that gratitude is an important part of becoming refined. 

 "A grateful heart will give you a touch of refinement that can come in no other way."

-Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Friday, January 20, 2012

Slow Recovery

Isn't he adorable?  I think so, but I may be a bit biased.
 

Oh how I love this sweet little face! Seeing this boy makes all that I've gone through in the last few weeks worth it.


This recovery has been a bit harder than my other ones.  Maybe its the fact that I'm not 21 anymore.  It could be that I lost a lot more blood this time with my hemorrhage. Or maybe its that I had three kids in about 3 1/2 years. Either way, I've been pregnant or nursing almost non stop since September of 2007 (I had a two month break between nursing Mason and getting pregnant with Porter). I think my body may be a little worn out, which is why its not bouncing back as fast. Usually by the second or third week out I am pretty much back to normal...but not this time.  I still feel worn out.  I am still in pain. And I'm having some crazy anxiety attacks...I blame them on the shifting hormones.

Also, I have a blood clot on the back of my hand that throbs all of the time.  Its about three inches above where they had my (painful) IV. The doctor at the local Instacare told me to just put warm compresses on it and take ibuprofen.  He told me not to worry about it, but, um, its a freaking blood clot. After a week of doing what he told me to, nothing has changed and I keep wondering if I should call my OB's office and see what they think. I'm pretty sure taking all of this ibuprofen is ruining my stomach...its ached all day.

In spite of still not feeling 100%, I am so very, very thankful for this precious boy!  He's totally worth all the pain.  I often fall asleep with him in my arms as we snuggle. He's a little slice of heaven.

I'm thankful for my wonderful mother who lets me call her and talk forever about nothing.  She doesn't know how much it helps me to have someone to talk to and vent my frustrations to. She truly is an angel.

I'm so thankful for my sweet sister-in-laws, who came to help me the first week I was home.  They'll never know how much it meant to me to have people here to help out!  They cleaned my house, did my laundry, and played with and fed my children. I'm thankful I married into such a great family.

I'm thankful for my amazing neighbor, who was able to go pick up Carson from school for me when he got the stomach flu and I still wasn't able to drive.  I'm thankful for her random calls to invite the boys over to play. I'm not the kind of person that will just call up someone and ask for help, so to have her go out of her way to take my boys means so much! I truly have some great friends.

And I am so thankful for a wonderful husband that has to put up with his sickly, hormonal wife.  He's always so willing to take Porter at night when I'm too exhausted to stay up.  He's pitched in a lot lately with dishes, laundry, and cooking dinner.  He doesn't complain when he comes home to a messy house and a wife still lounging in her pajamas.  I love him for all that he does for our family!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Two Weeks

I snapped this picture of Porter on Tuesday, when he turned two weeks old.  He is starting to get his own look, although after looking through all my boys baby pictures, I think they all look so much alike. I'm going to have to label pictures well, because I'm pretty sure I won't be able to tell them apart when I am old!

 He is gaining weight like crazy and is now 8lbs 14 oz.  It must be those every 1 1/2 to 2 hour feedings.  This momma is exhausted.  He slept a three hour stretch the other night and I felt so rested after three solid hours of sleep, that I couldn't go back to sleep.  Needless to say, those were the only three hours of sleep I got that night!

He is a pretty good baby, but has some fussy moments.  I'm about 90% sure he has reflux like Carson and Jonas did. I couldn't get lucky two times in a row with a baby that doesn't have reflux! I guess there are trade offs...although he was a good baby, Mason is now a feisty two year old with a biting problem.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Meeting Porter

{Before the Delivery}

Two very anxious parents, who managed only three hours of sleep.

A 6:00 AM check-in time at the hospital.

A crash-course for Daddy in using the DSLR camera...hence the blurry, head cut-off belly picture.

Getting hooked up to monitors, blood draws, and a painful IV.

A "belly-picture" of Daddy all suited up and ready to go to the OR.


One nervous Mommy as she walked into the OR and had a spinal block placed.

{During the Delivery}

A surprisingly fast birth.

An answer to prayers...scar tissue was miraculously better this time, which means less complications and more brothers (and maybe sisters) in the future!

The sweet sound of a newborn baby cry...before his body had even been delivered!

The time: 8:05 AM. 
The measurments: 7lbs 11oz, 21.5 inches.

Then the sound of a nurse next to me saying, "Sara, look at this."
A perfect knot in the cord.

Doctors explained to me that this is rare and my baby was VERY lucky to be alive.  A natural delivery could have been fatal. If he would have moved wrong in the womb and pulled it tight, he wouldn't have lived. A rush of emotion as I realized how very blessed we were to have a scheduled cesarean.  How very blessed I was to hear that newborn cry.

{After the Delivery}

The joy of finally meeting Porter.

Mom and Dad marvelling at the miracle of their newborn son.

Then an hour spent in recovery...snuggling our sweet boy and learning all over again how to nurse.

Finally a move upstairs to the postpartum unit.

Then a postpartum hemmorhage.

Everything felt like a blur to me. Doctors and nurses were coming in and out of the room.  There was near constant massaging of my uterus.  I was given three different medications that finally stopped the bleeding and saved me from being taken back into surgery. 

One of the most frightening things this mother has ever been through.

After everything was stabilized, it was time for Grandma and the brothers to meet Porter.


Such excited little boys!


And finally, having my little family all together.  How I love these boys!

Introducing...


Porter Benjamin Birch
Tuesday, January 3, 2012, 8:05 AM
7lbs 11 oz
21 1/2 inches
Absolutely Perfect!

I know he's a week old, and this post has been slow in coming.  This momma has been a little preoccupied with diapers, nursing, and cuddling this sweet little boy! I'll be back soon to post his birth story.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Christmas

Another Christmas has come and gone.  I am continually amazed by how quickly the holiday season seems to fly. Each year, Christmas becomes more anticipated and more exciting at our home.  As the boys get older, and start to understand the wonder of the holiday season, it makes Christmastime even more special.

This year was spent at home.  Grandma Larsen came to visit us for the holiday and arrived on Christmas Eve.  We spent Christmas Eve doing our traditions:  Chicken Noodle Soup, a Christmas movie, reading of the Nativity, and setting out cookies for Santa.

When the boys awoke around 6 AM Christmas morning, they could hardly contain their excitement to run to the living room to see what Santa had left.  And he didn't disappoint! A new wiggle car for Mason, a GI Joe and large tank for Carson, and a T-Rex and set of Dinosaur Train tracks for Jonas.

After presents, a traditional breakfast of Sticky Buns and chocolate milk.

Then a beautiful Sacrament Meeting.

Followed by a Christmas dinner at our house with Jeff's two sisters and their families, and Jeff's step-dad.

A perfectly marvelous day.