The Weekend

This is how I feel today.

I hate Mondays. They are always such an abrupt change from the weekend. I must say, that lately I've been living for the weekends! I know, I know, live in the "now" so you don't waste your life. But the weekend is always so much more entertaining than the week. I suppose that is mainly because Jeff is home and life is "normal" again. Our weekend flew by so quickly; honestly, I wish the week would go as fast!

Lately Carson wants to be anywhere but home. It is getting so hard for me to try to chase him around because I am still having horrible hip pain. I went to the Chiropractor last week and he said that my hips were really messed up. He worked on me for quite some time and I felt so much better when I left. But then on Thursday we were at Leo' Place in IF with Tiffany, Chandler, and Rowan, and Carson decided that he was going to run out of the restaurant and into the parking lot. I chased after him and did some major damage to my right hip. A $40 chiropractor visit down the drain. Not to mention a panicked mother who was very thankful there were no cars driving through!! I spent most of the weekend sleeping in the recliner instead of my bed because it kills me to lay down.

We had a busy weekend. Friday was the only day we didn't really have much planned. Friday morning we went over to Ryan and Maria's so the guys could get the copper ready to recycle. Carson had tons of fun playing in their backyard but it was a nasty cold day so he didn't get much of that. My son LOVES outside and is always wanting to go out. The problem with going outside here, at The Village, is that there is no fence to keep him in. Last time we went out to play in the "yard" he ran off and it was all I could do to catch him. So that is why it is so nice to go play in someone's yard.

Saturday morning Jeff went over to help Matt frame a little bit on their house. Carson was so sad daddy left so on our way to Wal-Mart we stopped by to say hi. I felt bad interrupting them, but Carson absolutely loves seeing Matt & Shannon's house. He wanted to stay and play in the dirt, but I didn't want to be in their way. Later on in the day we went over to Anthony & Alisha's house for an ice cream party. Carson had tons of fun playing with Peter and all the other kids there. He loves their "monster room" (a toy room downstairs) and is always telling me he wants a house like Peter. Yes Carson, Mommy wants a house too, but we have to wait and see what is going to happen with Daddy's job. I decided this weekend that I really want Jeff just to build me a house. Nothing big, just a little 3 bedroom house with an unfinished basement (that of course we can finish as we have the money).

We had our regional Stake Conference this weekend and it was so weird to have Jeff sit with me and help with Carson. He was out in the hall with Carson most of the Saturday night meeting, but on Sunday they only left twice, both times so Carson could use the potty. It's a little aggravating that he'll sit when Jeff is with us because most of the time I am fighting with him in the hallway. Such a daddy's boy. It was different to actually sit and listen to what was being said. I honestly can't remember the last time I knew what anyone talked about during Sacrament Meeting. Carson is always screaming that he wants to go sit on the stand with Daddy.

So back to my original thought. It is the week again, and I think Jeff might have to work 4-10's this week, which means he won't be home until Thursday night (lets pray he doesn't !) So any of you who have nothing to do, lets go do something because it makes my week go so much faster! Carson needs friends and play groups!

Going Green...well, kind of

In honor of Earth Day, I've decided to make some small and simple changes to help out our environment. No, I am not a crazy environmentalist, but I think there are small changes I can make to help improve the planet. When Jeff got home and I told him I was "going green" he looked at me, put his hands around my face and said jokingly, "What happened to my wife?" You see, Jeff isn't big into believing that Global Warming is real. He's a Glen Beck fan and shares a lot of the same views. Don't get me wrong, Jeff isn't like, whoohoo, lets kill the planet, but he thinks there's a lot of unnecessary hype and distorted facts. So anyways, here are some of the small things I've decided to do:

Reusable shopping bags:If you know me, you know I love Target! So, I've invested in some of these cool Target shopping bags. The large ones are only $1.49 and the medium ones are $.99. I love the medium size one because it zips up into this cute little pouch that you can put in your purse. The large ones also fold up nice and compact, so you aren't lugging all these bags into the store with you. They hold way more stuff than a normal plastic bag, and you don't have to worry about the bag ripping open while you are hauling stuff into the house. Target also has some sturdier bags, but they are $5.99 each. I also invested in some Wal-Mart reusable bags ($.88) because, yes, we do shop at "evil" Wal-Mart frequently. Although, they aren't as mod and stylish as the Target bags, they still do the job. I guess I'd feel weird taking my Target bags into Wal-Mart.

Method bath products:

I don't know if many of you have heard of this line of products. They are all natural soaps, shampoos, washes, lotions, etc. Today we made a Target run and I picked up some kid's body wash, hand soap and adult body wash. It is supposed to be one of the best things to use on newborns because you aren't exposing your baby to dangerous chemicals. I had to laugh when I read the label on the Kids wash: "contains no animal by-products, numbing agents, SLS/SLES or parabens + never tested on rubber duckies". Don't get me wrong, its not like I'm never going to use my Huggies shampoo on Carson again, I just thought I'd try the natural products and see how they worked. Another good natural product brand is Burt's Bees.

Scentsy candles:

My SIL, Maria, introduced these to me a few months ago and I've gone a little crazy with it. I didn't realize until I was watching Oprah's Earth Day special that I was actually doing a "green" thing. Normal candles usually have lead in the wicks and release that into the air, so if you light a lot of candles in your house, you are essentially polluting the air. Scentsy has warmers (the one pictured above is the one I have) and you just break apart the wax bars, put them in the top, and let them melt. They have really good scents and I actually just got 3 more in the mail today!

Fuzzi Bunz Diapers:

This is something I actually invested in a few years ago when Carson was a baby. I heard about them from a girl in one of my parenting classes on campus. What they are is a modern cloth diaper. I know, just hearing "cloth diapers" sends shivers up most mom's spines. And I only used them occasionally...I am very thankful for disposables! The outer layer is a waterproof fabric (Jeff didn't believe me and when they came in the mail he ran one under the faucet and, yep, it didn't leak). The inside is a micro fleece. Then there is a liner you insert into it that you pull out and wash. The micro fleece wicks away any wetness to the liner, so even if your baby has wet himself, it is dry against his skin. The micro fleece also makes it so most poopies can flick off into the toilet (unless, of course there is diarrhea). So the advantage is that you aren't exposing your child to the toxic chemicals (that can cause reproductive problems later in life) in disposables, plus you aren't making more garbage. They were great to use when Carson had diaper rash because it would clear it up in a day. But, I used disposables for the majority of the time. Please don't think I'm a "granola mama"!

Recycling: Jeff suggested I put this one on here because today we recycled. Jeff and Ryan have been collecting old copper pipes that they are throwing out from the Old Faithful Inn. Today we took them in to be recycled and for a total they got about $480! Split that in two and we got $240. Not bad for collecting "junk". It'll help pay for those lovely doctor bills we seem to collect.

P.S. Jeff read this and insisted that he isn't "going green" he's just trying to "make his millions"!

Check out my links section for links to these products.

Photos

I have been trying all day to create a digital scrapbook page in my scrapbooking program. Arghhh, stupid cheap program kept freezing up. We have Photoshop, I just need to learn how to use it. So, in my aggravation I turned to my old friend picnik.com to relieve my need to be creative. Here's what I came up with.

Our Time with Daddy

Another weekend gone and Monday is here again. Its the middle of the night, but I can't sleep and Jeff will be leaving for Yellowstone in a few hours. Here is a run down of how we spent our time with Daddy this weekend:

Thursday

• Went to the park and played on the toys. Carson loves Daddy going to the park with him! It was a beautiful day and there were lots of kids there for him to play with.
• Made a Wal-Mart run to get more charcoal for our BBQ
• Carson helped Jeff BBQ some hamburgers while Mommy made "squash your waistline fries" from The Biggest Loser Cookbook
• Watched My Name is Earl and The Office

Friday

• Enjoyed sleeping in!
• Spent the morning cleaning and doing errands
• Went to the temple to do sealings for couples. Loved it, especially since they let me sit in a chair and not kneel. I probably would have passed out.
• Went out and got ice cream cones (yeah, still craving ice cream)
• Jeff made some yummy chicken sandwiches for dinner while I slept on the couch (some days its all I can do to keep my eyes open!)

Saturday

• Made waffles for breakfast
• Spent most of our day in Basalt helping Grandpa Butler put windows into his new shop
• Carson spent most of his time digging in Grandpa's sandbox looking for worms
• Jeff and Carson trimmed the apple trees and plum trees in Grandpa's orchard
• Carson peed in the back yard and thought it was the coolest thing ever
• Carson fed Grandpa's neighbors' horses
• Went for a quick visit to Grandma's house
• Came home and took a nap
• Went and got groceries, pizza for dinner, and rented The Waterhorse and Dan in Real Life (by the way, I'm thinking of doing Netflix, has anyone done it and can tell me if its a good deal?)
• Stayed up way too late snuggling on the couch watching movies

Sunday

• Made crepes for breakfast with fresh strawberries and whip cream
• Jeff headed off to bishopric meetings at 10:30
• Went to church
• Came home from church at 5:00 and made spaghetti for dinner
• Went over to the clubhouse at 6:00 for Meet the Bishopric Night. (Check out the Bishop's blog for more details; I'm the new ward "Blogmaster"). Had tons of fun hanging out with ward members, but also tons of Braxton Hicks....they were coming 4 min apart. At what point do you start thinking, is this normal?

And this is how we all felt by the end of the weekend!

Fudgsicle Mama

I have a confession to make...I'm a fudgsicle junkie! Its my most recent pregnancy craving and I can't get enough. I haven't had many cravings this pregnancy, but the last week all I have wanted is ice cream. So of course I choose the low fat, low sugar kind because I spent a semester last fall teaching middle schoolers to choose healthy snacks. Yes, this I know coming from an overweight woman. I am very proud of the fact that I have only gained about 10 pounds this pregnancy (depending on which scale I am on). Compare that to a whopping 58 pound weight gain with Carson...hence this beautiful flabby post-partum figure. Of course I am also fighting against insulin resistance and genetics (gotta love those beautiful Butler thighs!). I've always envied those girls who can eat all the junk food they want and still be thin as a rail. I swear, if I eat a bag of chips or a doughnut, I've gained two pounds! Well, its late and I think I'll go raid the freezer one last time before I go to bed.

34 Weeks

Today I ended up having my 34 week appointment. I woke up with a nasty ear infection and called the doc to see if they could work me in. I was able to see the nurse practitioner and she did the obstetrical panel after she checked my ears. I had my appointment for Friday, but this saved time for them I guess. Good news: I've lost 1 1/2 pounds. Bad news: the cold I've had for two weeks went to my ears and I am now on antibiotics. She told me the baby was measuring big, but didn't say how much bigger. Thankfully my mother has come up to help me with Carson for the day so I can get some sleep. Ironically, both her and Carson are taking naps and I am wide awake! I was able to go get my maternity girdle today. (Isn't girdle such an ugly, old lady word?) I didn't realize it was this whole big contraption that had to be fitted to my body specifically. There is this hard foam pad in the back that had to be heated up and then molded to my back. Anyways, it seems to work, although I know my back is out and I just need to go to the Chiropractor. One thing at a time! Well, I have my 36 week appointment in two weeks and then its on to weekly visits.

I Was Wrong!

So I thought Carson wouldn't have a problem with the crib...wrong! We've hit regression full on and all he can think of doing is finding ways to try to climb into the crib. He's really quite creative. I found him like this, this morning! He'd even grabbed one of Jonas' new baby toys to snuggle with. I'm thinking its just because its something "new". Any tips on how to keep your 2 1/2 year old out of a crib?

When and How Big??

We need your input! We want you to tell us when you think Jonas will come and how big you think he'll be. For a reference: Carson was due July 21 and was born on July 23. He was 6 pounds 5 ounces. We did the same thing for Carson and Jeff won. He guessed the exact day and was only 3 oz off on the weight! We'll have to think of a prize or something for the winner. Maybe a gift certificate for dinner or something. Please leave your guess in the comments section and then I'll put it on the side bar. You can even submit seperate guesses if your spouse wants to guess too!

Jonas is due May 29. He is measuring three weeks big.

Making Room for Jonas

Today I decided I wanted to set the crib up. I know I still have about 7 weeks left, but it was a beautiful day and I was ready for a little spring cleaning. I moved my sewing table out of our bedroom to make way for the crib. It was sad to bid farewell to my very own sewing station, but it was the only logical thing for us to move to make room. I've been waiting for ever to put out my new crib set. I bought it way before I was even pregnant with the miscarriage. Its been patiently sitting in the top of Carson's closet for about 18 months. It is the Amy Coe "Peanut" Mod Baby collection from Target. I saw it and loved it so I got it. I figured since it was green it would be gender neutral in case we ended up having a girl. Then after I found out we were having a boy I saw the new Dwell line at Target. Finally, Dwell at affordable prices, but alas I already had a set so I had to pass it up. Today I also went through all the baby clothes and put all the 0-3 clothes in a plastic organizer. This kid already has so many clothes!

Carson helped Jeff set up the crib. I don't think he's going to have a problem with the baby using the crib because he has been in a toddler bed since he was 17 months. We've tried our best to prepare him for the fact that he's going to have to share Mommy and Daddy, but I think its still going to be a hard transition for him. He's had us all to himself for almost three years.

I've been having a lot of Braxton Hicks. Yesterday they even became timeable...every 10 minutes. I don't really remember having them with Carson. Well, I know that the time is getting close and hopefully he won't go over my due date like Carson did.

BEFORE

AFTER

Families

Allow me to be philosophical in this post. I've been thinking a lot over the past few days about families, of course this is nothing new because I love studying families. I think it brings a power into your life when you understand why things happen in the family system. My father in law once told me that you can't learn parenting in a book. I think it is quite obvious where I stand on the issue. I don't think Heavenly Father sent us here to relearn each generation how to raise children. We've been given knowledge and honestly I think you are held accountable for using what He has given you. Granted, there is a lot of trial and error in parenting and you have to learn by experience what works best for your family, and perhaps this is what my father in law meant.

I went into Family and Consumer Science, not because I wanted to teach students how to make cute little sewing projects and to bake muffins, but for the opportunity I'd have to teach them about families and how to make their own lives better. I suppose this stems from the fact that I am a child of divorce and at a young age determined that I never wanted my children to go through what I did. Jeff and I had a teacher on campus that totally transformed our lives because he got to the core issues of family dysfunction. I loved this teacher because he told us from the first day that he wasn't going to spend a semester teaching us what we should do in our families. He suggested that we already knew what was right, but there were certain psychological and emotional roadblocks that kept us from doing what we knew we should do. I loved this idea...mainly because it is so true!

Anyways, I could go on and on about what we learned but here are two main points: 1) We've all been hurt at one time in our lives and our misbehavior or addictions are manifestations of that hurt. 2) If you try to break the cycle and get out, your family often is critical. Here is an example: Jeff and I have decided not to spank our children. This decision is often met with, "Well I was spanked and I turned out just fine." Honestly, you don't know how you would have turned out if you weren't spanked, and secondly, did you turn out fine or is that the reality you've created for yourself. Spanking shows a lack of self control and of patience. It gets immediate results, but at what cost???? Both of us grew up in homes where we were spanked. I've often been told by family members about Carson "That boy just needs a good spanking." Yes, that is exactly what I want to do: teach my child that if you get frustrated and can't figure out a solution that it is okay to hit other people to make them see it your way. Believe me, it hasn't been an easy road. There have been times when I've been so tempted to swat his little bum because nothing else is working. And when the adrenaline kicks in it is very hard to stop yourself from resorting to what has been ingrained in you. Jeff has even said a few times, "Good thing I made the choice not to spank or he'd be black and blue!" Our choice is based on a lot of worldly research, but it is also built on a doctrinal foundation. There is a quote from Brigham Young that says something like this: "The only reason a husband and father should lay a hand upon his spouce and children is to bless their lives."
Back to my original point. I love studying families because it is so pertinent to everyday life. We're all part of a family system whether we like it or not and it is something we deal with every single day. Over the past few weeks as I've struggled with Carson I think I've learned more about myself than about him. I've learned I still have a long way to go to become the type of parent I want to be. My hope is that I can raise my boys to be men of virtue and integrity, who aren't blown about by every new fad.

Why We Love Thursdays!

So tomorrow is Thursday and I am very excited! It seems like lots of fun things happen on Thursdays for our family. Here is a list of why I love Thursdays.

1. Jeff comes home from Yellowstone!!

2. It's PAY DAY!

3. I get to mark one more week off on the Pregnancy Calendar that hangs on my bedroom door.

4. I have deemed Thursday nights "Steak Night" and make Jeff BBQ us steaks for dinner. They are already thawing in the fridge and will go into the marinade in the morning.

5. The Office! I am way excited because tomorrow there is an new episode for the first time since November (stupid writers strike). I'm can't wait to see the developing romance between Jim and Pam.

6. My Name is Earl. We're big Office fans, but Jeff fell in love with this show. It comes on right before The Office and we started watching it about a year and a half ago. Now it is Jeff's favorite show. (Thursday nights are usually the only night we make it a point to watch TV-- in case you are thinking we are TV-aholics!)

So you know what I'll be doing tomorrow night: eating steak while watching TV; celebrating 33 weeks of pregnancy, paying bills, and most importantly, cuddling with my wonderful husband and son!

Thank You!!!!!

A big thank you to whoever left the present on my doorstep and the money. It is greatly appreciated!! It is so nice to know that others are thinking about you and care! It made my day.

I once had a baby??!

So I've been starting to get a little more excited about our new baby, although I've been very cautious the whole pregnancy to not get attached. Sad, I know, but I guess that is what happens after you go through a miscarriage. But chances are if he were born today he would be just fine, so I am beginning to get a little more excited about him coming. I suppose I am mostly anxious for the delivery. I've seriously woken up in the middle of the night in a panic about it. I wasn't nervous to deliver Carson, but after the nightmare I went through the first time and almost losing Carson, I am not so sure I want to face that again. Unless you've gone through that, I don't know if you can understand. I think I'll still try for the VBAC, but some days I think a repeat section would be nice, even though I know it isn't the healthiest thing to do. Not to mention the painful recovery, the fact that I'll have to walk up three flights of stairs when I get home, oh yeah and the cost.

Anyways, so today I was going through some old movies of when Carson was a baby. It was a sweet trip down memory lane. It almost seems like a dream that I once had a baby. I thought I'd post a video so those of you who didn't know Carson as a baby could see him. I'll spare you the video of the section and the video of me in the hospital holding him (mostly because they'd given me so many different drugs that my face looks like a blow fish). I think Carson is about 4 or 5 months old in this one.

Sick and Tired...In more ways than one!

That's the atmosphere in our home right now. Jeff and I both have colds and were up most of the night unable to sleep. I must admit, it is nice to have someone up with you in the middle of the night. We were able to snuggle together on the couch and watch some King Kong movie at 3 o'clock this morning. Being sick and pregnant is horrible. Between coughing spells and running to the bathroom, I've gotten maybe a total of 6 hours of sleep over the past two nights. Carson was also up last night screaming that his knees hurt. Poor little guy has been having growing pains on top of everything else. Today we were all a little grouchy from lack of sleep. However, watching Conference helped lift our spirits. Just being together as a family helps too.

We are also sick and tired of Jeff being gone to Yellowstone half the week. Each week it gets harder on Carson and he gets more clingy to Jeff when he is home. Carson told me this week that he wants me to go teach again so daddy can stay home with him during the day. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. If we weren't so dependent on the company insurance for the pregnancy, I am sure he'd have taken the other job offer he got last week. Actually, with the pay cut he's taken to go to Yellowstone, we could probably qualify for Medicaid. Hmmm, maybe I'll look into that this week. Each week it seems that Jeff comes home more discouraged. He's working in such a crass environment and it is taking its toll on him. He is surrounded by men who find it a token of manhood to use foul language. Actually, it is more like a token of incivility if you ask me. I am reminded of something I recently read in Standing for Something by President Hinckley..."Those who routinely take the name of God in vain and resort to filthy, crude language only advertise the poverty of their vocabularies, a glaring paucity in their powers of expression, and a flaw in their moral makeup." Amen!