Buddies

From the time I found out I was pregnant with Mason, I just knew that he and Jonas would be good buddies. Now that Mason is almost a year old (has it really been a year?) they are starting to play together a lot more and it is just too stinkin' cute. Jonas disappeared today and I found him in the crib, hanging out with Mason (who was napping). Its nice that Mason is such a good natured boy that he enjoyed his brother's company, rather than getting upset that he was awakened from his nap.

Another Sappy Post About My Family

Its that time of year when I've been trying to scheme up some thoughtful Christmas presents. In the process I came across an old photo album my Grandma had given me. Looking through it caused so many memories to flood over me that I decided I had better record some of my thoughts...at the risk of yet another self-centered blog entry.

I know I've said this before, but my Grandma & Grandpa Carson meant so much to me. Obviously...I named my son after them. When I was younger I spent a lot of time at their house while my mom worked. In fact, most of my early memories are of being with them. Those days were precious and full of so much happiness. A few days before my Grandpa Carson passed away, I was talking with him. I'll never forget him telling me, in a broken voice, "Each day with you was such a blessing."

In his last days, my Grandpa taught me a valuable lesson: when it all comes down to it, what matters most is spending time with those you love and building memories. Isn't that a big part of this whole mortal experience? To build our eternal families? I am reminded of a passage from The Proclamation:

"In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress towards perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally."

This "earthly experience" hasn't always been a rose covered path for me...or for anyone. There have been times when I've felt so overwhelmed, discouraged, and depressed that I've felt myself wanting to slip into despair. As some of you may know, I went through a pretty rough patch after Mason was born. In short, depression is horrible, and a place I never want to go to again. Without an eternal perspective of who I am and what I'm doing here I don't know what I would have done. The knowledge that all my trials lead me to a better end...an end where I can be with my family, has given me the strength to press forward when the way was difficult.

I am ever so grateful for my family. My husband, children, parents, siblings, in-laws, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and each and every cousin. I am thankful for photographs like these that help me remember those early days of playtime with my cousin, Ben, who felt more like a brother to me than anything. A photograph of a very sad me saying goodbye to my Grandpa when he and Grandma moved to California. A photograph of my Grandma holding a me as a baby.

I will forever be thankful for simple little snapshots of a cherished childhood.

Thoughts of a Tired Momma

I think back to when Jeff and I were first married and how I vowed I would always have a clean house. I was so diligent about keeping everything spotless. I like order. It makes me happy. One of my strange quirks is that, at night, after I have scrubbed my house, I will sit out on the couch and just enjoy the cleanliness. Enjoy the order. Enjoy the peace it brings me to have everything in its place. I guess its a way for me to unwind and meditate. Cleanliness brings me joy. I know, its weird, but its one of those areas in life where I can actually see where I've made a difference...even if its only until the boys wake up the next morning.

Sometimes I look around and wonder what has happened to me. More often than not I am behind on laundry, there are dishes filling my sink, toys are strewn throughout my house, and there are fingerprints all over the doors. Sometimes its so discouraging, especially because I am a perfectionist. Its a tricky balancing act between (1)trying to make sure I am focusing on my boys and enjoying these precious years with them and (2) not letting my house disintegrate into chaos. I am still learning. Still trying to figure out what works for our family.

Carson is getting old enough that he is such a great help with the chores, but Jonas and Mason....they think its their job to make messes. And that's ok, because that is how they explore their world, but....whew, sometimes it exhausts this momma! Even though Mason has a few more weeks until his 1st birthday, he already acts like a toddler in lots of ways. I knew this day would come: two toddlers under two, but it came too fast! He feels it is his job to unload the dishwasher as I am loading it, or to empty all the cupboards and drawers while I am cleaning up some sort of mess in the living room. Its precious, really, probably because he is so darn cute that I can't get mad at him.

Even though its sometimes stressful, I wouldn't trade the messes and smudges and dirty laundry for anything! For me, its evidence of a home filled with the joy of childhood. What a blessing these sweet little babies are! What a blessing it is I get to spend my days with them! What a blessing it is that I get to figure this whole motherhood thing out...even if I'm exhausted and miles away from my goals at the end of the day.

I can think of several dear, sweet friends who long for children and are unable to have them either from infertility or the lack of a spouse. I talked with a friend the other day and she cried to me because she thought she would never get married and have the blessing of holding her own baby. I vowed then, that I would never take another moment of motherhood for granted, ever again. Children really are a gift. They teach me so much everyday. I see their precious little faces and know that this is where I belong; that I could do no greater work than to train these little ones up to the Lord.

Dear Santa...Just in Case You Read My Blog

I know Christmas is still 47 days away, but I thought I'd give you a head start on what I'm wanting. For the past month or two, I've been cruising, The Vintage Pearl website, and admiring their necklaces. As you know, I love necklaces, and I think the perfect gift for me would be one of these beautiful hand stamped creations...with my family's names on it. After much thought, I have decided I would like the Dainty Names necklace.My first choice would have been the Our Family Nest necklace, but since my family is still growing, I think I will wait to order it.Santa, thank you for all that you do for our family.

Happy Holidays,

Sara

P.S. Just so you know, this jewelry takes 3-4 weeks to be created and shipped.

Fright Night

We were haunted by a soldier, dragon, and monkey......but through it all we stuck together like best friends do. {Photo courtesy of Carson}

And no, in spite of what Jeff told everyone...I did not beat up a bunch of 12 year old girls for the costume.