I once had a baby??!

So I've been starting to get a little more excited about our new baby, although I've been very cautious the whole pregnancy to not get attached. Sad, I know, but I guess that is what happens after you go through a miscarriage. But chances are if he were born today he would be just fine, so I am beginning to get a little more excited about him coming. I suppose I am mostly anxious for the delivery. I've seriously woken up in the middle of the night in a panic about it. I wasn't nervous to deliver Carson, but after the nightmare I went through the first time and almost losing Carson, I am not so sure I want to face that again. Unless you've gone through that, I don't know if you can understand. I think I'll still try for the VBAC, but some days I think a repeat section would be nice, even though I know it isn't the healthiest thing to do. Not to mention the painful recovery, the fact that I'll have to walk up three flights of stairs when I get home, oh yeah and the cost.

Anyways, so today I was going through some old movies of when Carson was a baby. It was a sweet trip down memory lane. It almost seems like a dream that I once had a baby. I thought I'd post a video so those of you who didn't know Carson as a baby could see him. I'll spare you the video of the section and the video of me in the hospital holding him (mostly because they'd given me so many different drugs that my face looks like a blow fish). I think Carson is about 4 or 5 months old in this one.